Ashley

Hi, my name is Ashley. I am a kind, very shy, and quiet person. I usually keep to myself. I have a disability and severe social anxiety that make many everyday things very hard for me. I am looking for a female roommate only and a permanent place to stay. I am willing to relocate from Augusta, Georgia. I am not independent, and I do not plan to be. I have tried to be more independent, but the anxiety that comes with doing things alone is too much for me. It overwhelms me and sometimes makes me shut down. I also have a learning disability, and sometimes my brain has trouble understanding or processing things, even when they are clear. Because of this, doing things like traveling, making decisions, handling appointments, booking hotels, or making phone calls can be really hard. Sometimes I get so nervous on the phone that I hang up as soon as someone answers. If I have to do things alone without help, I usually avoid them. Transportation is also a challenge. My mom works a lot and can’t drive me far. Even when I ask for help, she is often too tired, busy, or struggles with alcohol, so moving to a new place would be hard without support. My budget for rent is between $200 and $300 a month. I live on a fixed income from SSI, and rent of $900 or $1,000 would take almost my whole check, leaving nothing for food or essentials. That is why I am looking for an affordable place. I want to be honest about my living situation now. My mom is my payee, which means she manages my money. She says she is saving it so we can move out of here, and she can only gives me $100 a month for my phone bill but I don’t think she can hold the rest of my money because I need it for things but I don’t have the support I need to make it happen for me to move out of state. She used to give me $600 a month but says she can’t anymore. She says if she gives me all of my money, we will never get out of this house. I feel like I have little control over my own money, and that makes me feel trapped. At home, my mom drinks every day after work and on her days off. She says she drinks because of my stepdad, but she refuses to get help for it. When my stepdad or others try to talk to her, she tells them to shut up and says she does not care. My stepdad is very hurtful to me. He calls me names, judges me, and accuses me of things I have not done. This is very painful and makes me feel alone. I deal with severe social anxiety and a learning disability that make it hard for me to do many things alone. I cannot live on my own. Things like making decisions, booking transportation, calling places, and navigating social situations make me very nervous and overwhelmed. I often avoid these things because I do not have the support I need. Being independent is not something I want or plan to do because it is too much for me. I want to move out of state to get away from the problems at home, especially the drinking and verbal abuse. When I mentioned this to people I get told to try therapy, medication or things that will help me but the truth is I have tried things but it doesn’t change who I am, it doesn’t fix what I got going on but then I get told to try harder, force myself out of my comfort zone, get told to try something else, go back to the doctor when it just doesn’t work like that but it is not like I haven’t tried because I really have but I don’t want people to force me into trying things, to fix or change me or to tell me to overcome my social anxiety but I have accepted the way things are but also that I need help or support to do things or knowing that I am not capable of taken care of myself, making decisions or what people find easy but also how my brain understands or process things makes it really hard but it’s not like I can’t just show up or do it because I don’t drive or how to get there. I want to get away from whatever I am dealing with with my mom’s drinking, my stepdad’s abuse because I will be waiting forever until my mom can leave which I will be waiting for a long time but it just sucks I have no friends or family to really turn to but I am also someone who avoids situations where I will be judged, rushed, too much on me which makes me cry, shut down or worse. I want a change of scenery to feel better and have a chance at a safer, happier life. But making that happen is hard because my family cannot help me, and I do not know many people here who can. I also do not want to live alone because it is expensive, and taking care of myself on my own is very difficult. I would rather have a roommate to share the costs and support each other. I want a safe, peaceful place with a roommate who is kind, understanding, and patient. I need someone who can help me make decisions, take care of me when I need it, and help me with daily tasks. I want to be able to go to appointments, the store, and have someone help me plan and get to events or concerts. My anxiety often holds me back from doing things I want to do, like meeting new people or enjoying life. I want to experience these things but need help. If you think we could be a good match as roommates, please reach out. I appreciate your understanding and support. Thank you for reading my story.